At this VERY moment I am burying my feelings for him deep DEEP down inside and ending things.
I can't describe the feeling this is though, which sucks because in a blog you hafta do just that...so I will try.
This may be a dorky analogy but you remember in the movie Mean Girls when Regina's friend talks about how she got some white gold hoop earrings for her birthday and she had to pretend like she didn't like them because Regina told her that hoops were 'her thing?'
Lol well it's kinda like that but worse because I know I am pretending not to be in love with him because I MADE THE MISTAKE. I am not doing it because of some Queen Bee stupid peer pressure reason...I'm doing it because I was the idiot who fell in love with someone who was engaged.
I am doing it because--even though I have not been acting like it lately--I am a good person.
So with each text we exchange he get's the point more and more...and I feel more and more like I am pushing away the only man who has ever cared about me.
The hope for a better "Mr. Right" isn't enough to make me do this, but the promise of "making things right" and following my morals should be enough.
Wish me luck, because he's a fighter and I know if he fights for us long enough......no, no I can't afford to think that way
:(
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