Can't stay away :(

Why is it when I write things down in this blog I can really see them... And when I go back out into the situation I can't anymore!! If you read a few back you will see I finally got out of a bad relationship...had my head on straight and knew what I was doing... Yea, about that. Just to be fair, HE opened the lines of communication again. And I ONLY responded because he sounded really down. (smart guy right) I did however agree to hanging out with him...yet I find myself hopeful that "something" happens when we do. WOW REALLY IDIOT? Why would I want that? Why would I want to be with a guy who I see declare his love for his fiance' over facebook?! why why whyyyy! He is selfish! I am weak!....But he is the only guy that makes me feel the way he does...like I am special (which I obviously am not) and like he really likes me when in reality he already does the same thing to another girl a million miles away. Why do I sit up thinking how things would be different if I had met him first, if he and her broke up, down the line if they got divorced? I am pathetic...I did not give in when he told me he had no where to spend Thanksgiving...I felt like shit because I am a sucker for the holidays and people who have no one...but c'mon I can't explain that one to my friends and even if I could why would I want to spend a holiday with someone who will never again spend it with me. I want to be mad at him but I can't. I want to be mad at me but I keep agreeing to see him. I know that this will lead to a heartbroken post later on down the road but I guess that's good for you readers right? :) Shit, I could really use a wish right now.