The avid reader of my blog (so this would probably be just me) can see that I am not a super religious person. I talk a lot about random things and my opinion may be judgmental and definitely not something I would say to a priest, pastor, rabbi or whatever. But I do occasionally....well semi-occasionally...post about the big man upstairs and this would be one of those special times. If you are some kinda devout atheist and the thought of God offends you then go ahead and skip on through. I'm no expert and for all I know this whole post will sound naively stupid and hopelessly hopeful.
HERE IT GOESSSSSS............
God I feel stupid for even writing this! But I don't you any of you guys...and there is a 70% chance no one will read this (82% chance that statistic was made up).
OK ENOUGH STALLING!
Here's the deal: I have been trying to make it a nightly thing to pray before I go to sleep at night.
Before you zone out and quit reading, my praying goes something like this,
"Hey God. Thanks for giving my such a badass family...wait can I say badass?"
lol that's just the most recent example that I can think of.
BOTTOM LINE: I talk to Jesus like he is my Home Boy. He's the most powerful being ever right? Then I don't need to talk all holy to him and what not. Ok sorry that was off topic.
I was praying and all of a sudden I literally felt God's presence in the room. Like I'll e the first to tell someone that they are being a little dramatic when they talk about shit like this but REALLY I DID. I would explain it more but either you believe me or you don't.
So I felt this amazing presence that night and I all of a sudden couldn't stop smiling because I knew something big as gonna come. And it was coming fast like immediately. It was like God was telling me that my life was going to be changed forever, in a good (big) way...Now here's the kicker: I have had this same experience twice more since.
Weird right: I go 21 years with rare possibly imagined encounters with God (to be fair, I didn't believe in God for a period of time, and now all of a sudden he is reassuring me three times!? I don't know I just needed to write this all out and see how it looks.
I don't know if I should get my head checked or start opening myself up more to this amazing, unknown thing that is coming. Either way 2011 is a new year (and according to Ancient Mayans we have only one more left) and I seriously feel like a big change awaits. Not sure if this is stemming from my encounter or just me being me but hopefully I change...Not that I'm not Awesome As Is.
Welllllp, yea judge me or not I wrote it so deal with it. And yes I will most definitely let you know if this great thing (person? friend? job? award?) ever emerges.
wow, I felt that way too.
ReplyDeleteRecently, I've been telling myself to pray before going to sleep, but sometimes it just turns out to be a "Thank you, Lord." then I'm in dreamworld.
But the times where I pray, I tell Him everything. I talk about all that concerns me, my family, my friends etc.
And I get that feeling too. Then I start smiling. Then I start crying. Those moments make me believe even more.
Don't you think so??