It's nearly 4am and my house has been asleep for hours. Well my parents that is. I knew I should have stayed at college for summer like my brother and sisters. Now I am at home and while seeing my old friends all the time is really great nothing can cover up that hole in my window that allows "The Lonely Feeling" to come creeping in. No need to explain it really because everyone knows that feeling. It's the feeling you get when you hear some great news and grab your phone to call your "person" only to realize you two are in a big fight. Be it a friend or loved one you cannot swallow the pride to call...thus "TLF." It has to be right up there on the list of awful feelings because A. You know that it is partially your fault and B. when you think about "TLF" it just intensifies.
Now my faithful and nonexistent readers may be wondering who is this girl who has a bad case of TLF? How did she get this way? A bad break-up? A lifetime of dungeons & dragons addiction? Well, here is the kicker...I am not the typical blogger. I have always run with the 'jock crowd' and am currently a Division I athlete. I have morals that are ever changing. I refused to drink when all my friends started and only began when I was convinced that it was MY choice to. I have a great circle of friends. I did at one time go to a catholic school-for 14 years to be precise..but after getting an ocean away from home I realized that my faith didn't include a big invisible man (although I respect those whose faith does). I am the strong one, the outspoken one, the comic relief...the one who hides TLF so well that my closest friends wouldn't guess that this is my blog.
Do I know what triggered this feeling tonight? Well my theory is that it is a bit like Sleep-Apena which is only evident during sleep. TLF is only evident right before sleep aka when I run out of things to keep my bidy and mind active enough to ward off TLF. I swear Mr. Sandman must be diluting his sand with some shitty stuff because when I should be sleeping I am thinking...and missing...at least in previous years my missing had no face. I am not sure what's worse to miss someone you have never met or to miss someone you turned away.
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