Switch'n it up real quick

Just taking a break from my normal drama to share a good find :)





It sounds like a COMPLETELY different song!...well not really but to listen to Nicki Minaj I have to be in like a certain mood. My blood pressure rises because it is such a fast paced (semi-angry sounding) song!

But this one I can chill out too and actually listen to the story-line :)

Not saying which one is better but I definitely am enjoying this one right meow :)

Sorry bout it honey

If a guy doesn't text/call you for a two weeks and finally does so saying he is in Alaska would you:

A) say "Hey Cool! How is it over there?"

B) say "F*#@ you asshole! You never called!"

C) ask "Why'd you take so long to call?"

D) Make small talk like you are busy and when the conversation allows just stop responding

*Welp I choose option D because I WAIT FOR NO ONE!!




except that one other guy haha but we won't go into that now :)

That little bugga

It's so weird how I can be perfectly happy and content then BAM it hits me that I wanna talk to him...

I am keeping my distance but at the same time I think, should I get closer so he learns to love me and leaves her...or keep myself away and safe...

It's like the little devil and angel on my shoulder

So far the devil has won and the angel is winning

Doesn't make sense right...

And I hate that I want Devil to win this one...

Not looking forward to explaining...

I swear it felt like every conversation I had today centered around cheating...

Ok Ok just two but still that is two conversations where I had to keep quiet and agree :/

The first one was with my sister and the second was with two friends...

My sister was telling me how this guy kept hitting on her who had a gf AND who had gotten with her really good friend...

My teammates were saying how once they hear a guy has a gf they stop talking to him...and how guys try to talk to them when they have bf

Ummhumnum...I don't know if this is a "special situation" or if my head is too far up my ass...at least I'm not the one cheating right?
right?
no still wrong...

Well either way my friends are about to see him around a lot more...and despite me firm refutes that we are just friends...I know they will know better

:/



I have a lot of really close friends and my sisters. I know most of them wouldn't judge me because they know the kind of person I am but I can't even tell any of them :(
I am too shamed

fuck lol Who invented the concept of fate anyways? Because our timing sucked but it feels so easy and so right...UGH UGH

time to turn my brain off sorry if this post was confusing...my brain is confusing right now and I'm just tryin to do it justice haha

Rubber Heart

So the last time I saw him we decided to trade bracelets because we didn't know the next time we would see each other.

Shitty deal for me lol would you like to know the bracelets we exchanged?

The one that I was wearing: One of those nice "livestrong" type ones but it was for my college
The one that he was wearing: A rubber band.

Hahahaha I know such a lame trade but when I was missing him I was sooo happy to have that dorky rubber band.

Welp I woke up this morning and was walking to school when my wrist started stinging...I got a fricken rash because all my bracelets were tangled in that damn rubber band and were rubbing all night :(

It's gone now but it did make me laugh. It's kinda like how bad he is for me...He is hurting me but I keep him around...I'll push him away until the pain of wanting him overcomes the pain of knowing we will never be officially together
aka I wore the rubber band on my other hand until the rash went away

...then I put it back

Not looking ahead

So I live about a mile away from school and my bike got stolen :(

I am always able to snag a ride home...except today I had a study group so I couldn't!

As I am leaving campus I update my facebook status to something like "I'm walking home alone, in the dark and I'm scared :("

Three minutes later he calls me :)

He tells me he will keep me company bc I am scared.

I know we can never be.
I just told him I'm going to Europe
He told me by the time I get back he will be gone

But for now I'm okay with whatever this is.

It's kinda like when kids catch fireflies in jars

They are so happy when they do because they've watched and wanted one for so long.

Some try to hold on too long to it
Others know it cannot and should not last so when the time comes they let it go.

Holding onto it for too long will kill it
In the jar...it cannot survive

Didn't want to lose the friendship...smart move or not?

You guys ever watched the music video for "We found love" by Rihanna?

It is epic just FYI but that's not why I am posting.

In the very beginning when there is a voice talking she says,
"...Sometimes you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so you can get the good..."

(I think I paraphrased a bit but you can look it up)
Yes well I know that feeling WAY too well right now.
Annnd I did go ahead and welcome all the bad stuff back...along with the good.

But you know what? I think I did it because this guy truly is one of my best friends and I wanted to text him and talk to him like I would my best friend but I couldn't...so I think that is a contributing factor to my shit-show-of-a-situation.

The friend-zone is real btw.

Friendship > love....but if this friendship comes with unrequited love is it worth it?

I vote yes :/





for now...