Never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun.

At first I didn't like this video. I thought it was about love on acid...but now I like it A LOT.

Time to Fess up :(

Okay loyal readers...I am about to admit to something that I am 100% ashamed of and I know that you will judge me (I would judge me too if I were not in this situation) but at the same time I hope maybe you see my thought process--though wrong-- was really really fucked up...that didn't make sense but oh well here it goes...

I met this guy, lets call him STEVE and Steve and I hit it off. The next time we hung out there was alcoholic beverages involved and thus me and Steve ended up having a nice lil make-out session.
The next time Steve and I met up we went back to my place (NO NOT TO DO THAT) and we just talked...and damn he was a real cool dude...until he asked, "Do you remember me telling you that I have a girlfriend?"
UMM WHAT? NO NO STEVE I DO NOT!
At the time we were holding hands and semi-cuddling so I broke that off and said basically nothing was ever going to happen between us...
Steve then goes on to explain that they have only been dating for 4 months and she is in a state on the east coast, while we are on the west most state...He tries to keep things going but I just try to limit any physical contact but keep talking because there really is no reason to kick this guy out of my house if I am enjoying his company as a friend.
Well time goes by and Steve is texting me and I am really starting to like him but I know it is wrong. But then again I find myself fucking justifying my feelings which was stupid of me. I started saying:
-It's only been 4 months they were together and shes not here
-If he doesn't cheat with me he will with someone else
-I enjoy hanging with him even without any romantic feelings involved
-I"M NOT THE ONE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Ugh I know...I am a failure. but still I go on...
We hang out again and this time I do not tell Steve where I am going, but my friend is friends with his friend so they both end up with us. I don't mind but at the same time I make it clear to him I will not be with him. Every time I mention his gf or the situation he says things like "Now why you gotta go bring her up?" or "There you go again bringing up he gf." Eventually I give in to this dude because he was so exhausting to fight and I yes I will say it, I was too weak to hold me ground :(

We spend the night together but DID NOT HAVE SEX so there was one good thing from that...I mean other things happened but at least that one didn't.
That morning my roommate tells him that shes gonna add him on facebook so she does.

Later on that week I get nosey and look at his profile through hers...he is talking about marrying this chick!! Ugh I feel like an idiot because I convinced myself if wasn't serious.
A few days later the relationship status goes to ENGAGED and I quit texting this fool back...
But he won't stop.
Now I'm trapped, do I try and keep this guy as a friend bc he is a cool friend, or just dump the whole situation....yea I shoulda picked the 2nd option :(

But I don't...I am distant but still responding...and later on we meet up

And yea...the dirty deed was done

FUCK I AM SO DUMB

It's not like I am gonna stand up at his wedding and object...but for some reason ths guy got me doing things I never do!

But after it happened he looks kinda shaken up and leaves very quickly...so I am thinking maybe he grew a conscious and think that it won't happen again

Then he doesn't text me for a while...and his facebook status' are all about the devil tempting him and shit... wtf ever I don't care I'm over him

then he calls me and gets me back in again... he tells me that he is worried I am going to stop hanging out with him. He says that he know's he isn't the best looking guy and he would understand if I was done with him...
NO I FEEL TERRIBLE wtf I was totally fine with our "affair shit" being done but now he tells me he is scared that I am too good for him and is worried I won't talk to him anymore

WELL SHIT. I fucking go and reassure him...

But now I am re-reading shit shit-show of a story I just explained for you all and I realize what a MORON I was...I am done with him.
But I feel bad because he was so worried that I was gonna end it...but shit why am I feeling bad when I am the one who is legit single! :(

....Speaking of Steve, the fucker just texted me...I hafta tell him sooner or later...I hafta lose a friend :(
If he's not gonna do what's right I am before things get deeper
:( I hate hurting people's feelings if I care about them though :(((((

Here goes nothing

---NEXT POST WILL BE HAPPIER I SWEAR HAHA---

Music Changer

I think it's funny how whenever I am into a certain guy I always listen to the music that they like.
Not because I am trying to change my own music taste but because it reminds me of him or because it makes me feel like I am with him.

The only time it sucked was when I was dating this 'country music' type guy because when it ended all I could listen to were country songs and guess what? 98% of country songs are fucking sad love songs!! haha

but anyways now I have my pandora set o Mumford and Sons :) so lets see where this one leads

ps. The only time this does NOT happen is with this one guy I am on and off with who loves straight up rap old school music...CANT DO IT haha

Look Whose Back

I haven't written here for a while and honestly that is a VERY good thing.
I began writing here because I needed to write my feelings down somewhere, feelings on deep things or stupid things lol
Since I lose every journal I keep or the wrong people end up reading it I turned to this blog :)

However I stopped writing when LIFE happened. I was so happy that I was always able so express me feelings to people in person.
Ever since the beginning of summer I have had this "Life could be worse" attitude and nothing bad ever really messed it up. For once I was a real live optimist :) IT WAS AWESOME

Well I'M BACK and you can guess what that means...I have some "iffy" feelings that I don't want to share in person so I have to write them here...they aren't depressed feelings or anything....just different

But one good thing that will come of this is that I have a lot more juicy stuff to write about hahahaha not that I wasn't interesting before but just that my men problem's have gotten so big and drama-filled that it makes for good reading...but we will get to that when I come to it

For now just know I'M FUCKING BACK :)

A tad paraphrased...

Foregggeeetful Lucy!

Her lips are so damn juicy!

How bout another first kiss??

Watching MADE

Wooow Some people can talk the talk but are STRAIGHT BABIES when it comes to to walking the walk.

Do you really think things are easy? Like really!????

This one chick got so excited to lose 60-70lbs
once they told her she should aim for 20lbs she started crying
Now they started working out and she cries saying "I don't like it" I don't want to do this"
Umm sweetie how did you expect to lose 60-70 originally without working out?

I'm not being mean...I have seen many MADEs and the best ones are where the kids keep pushing and embrace the workouts no matter how dumb they look or hard it is.

She wouldn't even eat a salad because she doesn't like salad, she started crying because she wanted to eat her bbq food. DAY ONE!!

I just want people to know that things do not come easy! Hating others for having what you do not have is easy but working to get what they have is hard.

Nothing worth it is ever easy!!

Ok sorry I sound like a bitch but uggghhh I don't like it when people say they can't do something without really trying! :(

Lazy Sunday

Meet The Fockers...enough said.